I've moved :)

I don't think anyone will still be checking this for updates, it's been over a year! But incase you are, i now blog here - wanted a fresh start from some of the thoughts on this page, and it'd been a year since i blogged last so felt natural.  

So come on over!!

A time to reflect...

It will soon be 2008, and with that comes some reflection...i haven't really felt this reflective before a new year before!

A lot has happened internally this year. Not to do with physical organs, i've not had surgery, but it's probably been the hardest year of my life...without me being able to completely pin down why.

There are obvious things, like university work, which has challenged me lots, and taken lots to get done, Nath and i breaking up - although it was really good for me, that doesn't mean it was easy in the slightest, and it threw up a load of Amy-issues that i needed to, and in some cases, still do need to resolve and work through.

Then there are the less obvious things - stuff that's happened to me that i've needed to work through, financial struggles, adapting to sharing a house again, questions about 'where i fit in' when looking at my community and future, challenges at work, family stuff, just...tonnes. I just remember through this year having so many periods of feeling completely low, alone, pointless, sad...it's been really tough.

But then, i can feel that i'm changing through it all, for the better. I'm learning from it all, about me, about others, about God. And although i've not heard from Him as much as i'd have liked to, He's done so many little things that show me that He loves me, i've started to experience what i've heard others call 'being romanced by God'. That doesn't make the horrible things ok, but those little moments have come occasionally, and just in time.

So, onto the next year. 2008. I know it's going to be difficult with university work, and i know there's still lots of things for me to work through about myself, but i'm open to those things. It's a kind-of 'i've been at the lowest i could ever be, so why not carry on?!' situation, where i know that God's wanting me to get closer to being the person He created me to be...which has been my prayer for ages. It does hurt a lot, this journey, but i know that i want to get through it, because i know i want to be the person at the other end of it, in the closer relationship with God that, because i'm having to turn to and lean on Him with all of this stuff, i know i will be in as a result.

Quote of the day...

You know the one where Phoebe gets married? This quote made me laugh out loud.

Joey: Oh hey, don't worry. I'm still ordained from your wedding.
Monica: Really?
Joey: Yeah, you'd think I'd give up being a minister and start paying to ride the subway? Huhuh...
Ross: Uhm, ministers don't ride the subway for free.
Joey: I had to read the Bible pretty carefully, but... yeah we do.

Lol, it's amazing what you can find in the bible if you look hard enough!!

The Zimmers

My Generation

This is so wonderful! I love it! How great that these guys are out there having a go at this - respect to them!! And an important message that is in need of being heard too. Made me smile.

Identity

It's so important that we make sure that our identity is in the right things! I'm currently really seeking to have my identity in God - 100%, and as i'm praying into it more, i really see how important it is that i have it! Otherwise my life depends on all these contingent things that are rubbish in comparison to him!

I know that it's something that he really wants me to get right too, but its so easy to just cling onto things around me - relationships, my job/education, money, 'things', eek, and it just doesn't work. And i know that if i get to that place, then i will be such a better person, not because of something i've done, but because my identity is based in something that is completely perfect!

I'm desperate to be able to completely trust in God, and have my identity come out of our relationship instead of all those other things. But it's a slow and painful process - i'm sort of just putting myself out there and hoping he meets me there!

It's all sort-of come out of these sessions we're having at work, where we're looking at the gospel with a fresh glance, and it's so amazing the things you miss! I'm just waiting for it all to click.

So...yeah, for those of you who pray (and those who dont!) throw one in there for me and my identity!

Beautiful, distracted day!

Well, yeah, it's a beautiful day outside, and i'm uber distracted.

I made the mistake of allowing myself to wake up 'whenever' instead of setting the alarm, which for some reason means i wont study well for the rest of the day.

I did a work out, which is the first in aaages, so that's good, and have just finished cleaning the gerbils' house and my house - it gets so dirty with two extra people living in it!

I'm now distracted with a bunch of prophecies i was given at work a good few months ago, is well cool how God speaks to us through people, and i only wish i'd looked at them a few weeks ago - i'm definitely on a journey of discovering who i am, and these prophecies back that up, which is nice - is great to know that i'm not just imagining it all!

Lots of random bits!

Thought i'd stick a pretty picture on!

Well, lots of randomness such as this photo is about to follow - an outflowing of some of my brain!

I finally feel like i've got space to breath, which is great - two assignments are in, and i've got a whole day tomorrow to work on fieldwork - oh the joys!!

I've managed to spend a ridiculous amount of money in the last fortnight - quite scary and don't know how i've done it - but ho-hum, it's only money! I'll just live off rice for a bit! (erm...not quite!)

Have booked a holiday to Lisbon with a couple of friends, so that'll be great fun - really looking forward to getting away, but really need some time off before then - it's not until July! Might see if i can spend a lengthy period of time down in London or something.

Other news, i've attended my first ever hen party - not MY hen party, a friends hen party, lol, and it was wonderful fun! Well looking forward to the wedding in two weeks! Another lovely friend's engaged, which is great news, so went wedding dress browsing today - some of the dresses are a bit odd...but hey! Don't think she's actually stopped smiling!

My prayer atm is that i can live my life knowing my true identity in God, and with him at the centre of it - is the only way to go, really! Found stuff pretty hard until very recently, but really feel like that's over, and that it was for a purpose, and that i'm headed somewhere quite cool with God now.

Been 'officially' dating Nath for pretty much 20 months now - that's over a year and a half. Lots and lots of thoughts. Hmmmm....